Women and drinking

I have done my share of drinking in the past but rarely drink very much at all now. This is partly because I never know when the other half might suddenly need driving to hospital and I really would hate to have to say sorry I've drunk too much. So my drinking is mainly confined to Christmas and a wine box which usually lasts me well into January. I do have the occasional vodka and tonic as well - when I remember to buy the tonic.

I don't understand the attraction of drinking to excess so that you're falling down drunk and have a hangover in the morning. I have had my share of hangovers and I basically don't like them - which is another reason for not drinking to excess. That said I really don't like to see anyone in public drunk - whether it's a man or a woman. I find it odd the the media only ever seem to concentrate on young women who get drunk. Don't men get drunk any more?

I came across this comment on a Daily Mail story about the ladette culture leading to promiscuity and abortions which had me laughing out loud - not probably the reaction the author intended:

Young unmarried women should not be allowed to purchase or consume alcohol when not under the supervision of a man. It has too much of a destructive influence on their brains which have developed through evolution to be suited to bringing up a family and making a home for their man, not engaging in the complexities of social networking. We need sensible moralistic laws to ban this behaviour.

So men have a monopoly on wisdom do they? This is the sort of patriarchal attitude which feminism was set up to challenge - it seems women are still not capable to thinking for themselves - well not according to some men who might find themselves more at home in a previous century. As someone once wrote on a similar story - 'The Dark Ages just rang - they want their attitudes back.'

Fat women are easy lays

I read an article on the Daily Mail's website yesterday about several women who were prepared to say how many lovers they'd had. One of them was still a virgin from choice and another had had fifty lovers. To me all the article demonstrated was that everyone's an individual. There were photos of all the women featured and they varied from skinny to pleasantly plump - well that was my opinion anyway. None was outstandingly beautiful by current standards. It was the comments which had me screaming at my computer monitor and foaming at the mouth.

The lady who had had fifty lovers was the pleasantly plump one and the one who seemed to be enjoying life the most and who had made a success of her career and was relatively recently married. But the comments from men and women were mainly along the lines of: fat women are easy lays because otherwise they wouldn't get anyone; it's a well known fact that fat women are promiscuous; can't imagine why anyone would want to sleep with her - they must have all been drunk etc etc.

Identifying the stereotypes and pre-conceptions:

• Fat women sleep with anyone who asks them
• Fat women are desperate to get a man
• Men don't fancy fat women
• All women lie about sex
• All women are desperate to have a man in their lives

I've never been skinny. I've always had at least one man in my life since I was about 17 - and often more than one. In total I reckon I've had 14 lovers and unless my current partner dies before I do I'm unlikely to have any more. I've probably turned down at least as many. I've never really tried to attract anyone to me and I've certainly never gone out looking for men. So I'm sorry but I don't fit into any of those stereotypes/pre-conceptions and I doubt if most women do.

And finally - there were far too many people commenting that women should be virgins when they marry but men should have as much experience as they can before marriage. There was also a joker claiming he'd had sex with 1000 women - what's the male version of slut anyone?!!

Respect

I've just skimmed through an article on this site www.henrymakow.com and come across this written by someone who lives in Denmark.

'Gender role confusion is rampant: particularly in young men and teenage boys. My own step son has confided in me many times that he just doesn't understand what girls expect of him. He tells me they are impossibly argumentative, confrontational [and] show no respect for the masculine at all. He says he would like to meet a nice girl and settle down, but he cannot imagine ever meeting one'.

So this guy thinks there should be gender roles - why? What is wrong with men doing traditional women's jobs or vice versa? Why shouldn't women argue? If men say something women don't agree with are women supposed to just accept it because the man is always right? In my book respect has to be earned, it should not be granted just because a man is a man or a woman is a woman.

Driving a wedge between men and women

Many men - and some women - say feminism was designed to drive a wedge between men and women. But is this really true? I don't think so. Feminism was - and is - aimed at giving women equal rights and equal responsibilities as well as equal opportunities as men. How can this be wrong?

Of course some men see women gaining power and independence as taking power away from them. But is this really true? I don't think so. If you as a man have to negotiate on equal terms with the woman in your life in order to decide where you go on holiday, whether you have children and how you bring them up - how can this be wrong? Femimism is all about giving women choices. It is not about depriving men of anything. The reason why so many men don't like it is that they're no longer allowed to beat their wives for their own good. Women can earn money just the same as they can and therefore are not dependent on the man dishing out the money as they see fit.

Is the reason why men don't like feminism that they can no longer control the women in their lives and tell them what to do? That's what I think it boils down to. If a woman can earn money she is always going to be in a position to say to a man she doesn't want him in her life - just as men have always been able to do to women. Men obviously prefer being in a position to call the shots and don't like it if women can do the same thing. I think there is an increasing trend for men to just want women for sex and nothing else - which is worrying. Did they ever want to have a real relationship with women? Obviously some do but an increasing number don't.

Men also seem increasingly worried that women only want them for their money but surely it was always like that - just dressed up in nicer clothing. Before it was possible for women to work outside the home they always needed to marry someone with at least some money. Men also married for money though they conveniently forget that. I would think that now women are able to earn money they're less likely to put money at the top of their reasons to marry.

So all feminism has shown is something that women probably always knew - there are some men who just want you for one thing. In that feminism has shown up many men as being shallow and not really worth bothering with for a serious relationship I suppose it has driven a wedge between the sexes - or has it caused many men to be displayed in their true coloours for the first time?